Golden Labyrinth (Song/Poem)

***To you...thanks for destroying my perfect labyrinth...***

Sittin' here; In my golden labyrinth
Walks in a girl, but I didnt know it
She gave me kiss, right on the cheek
she made me beg, she made me pleade

Cause I want more more more
And I need need need
My golden labyrinth
Cause I want more more more
And I need need need
My golden labyrinth

I've been buildin' it up, and shes bringin' down
Made of gold, I should of added a crown
how does she do it, how did she know
she hit me with, an anti cupid bow

Cause I want more more more
And I need need need
My golden labyrinth
Cause I want more more more
And I need need need
My golden labyrinth

Cause I want more more more
And I need need need
My golden labyrinth
Cause I want more more more
And I need need need
My golden labyrinth

Garage *Song/Poem*

***This song is about a real-life suicide attempt I had, and no, this isnt't a joke.***

how many more days, must I sit around livin day after crave?
how many more lies must I sit still and have to tell?
Can't feel at all, I can't hold you in, anythin, better than this might be imaginary.

Sittin here in the garage, sittin here while I rot
 I got my gun, my rope and my pot
and I, am gonna die in the garage today.

How many more loves, must be lost in suburbia?
Just lettin me rot, and I'm still sick in bed
Can't think at all, I wan't to hold you in, anythin better than this might be imaginary

Sittin here in the garage, sittin here while I rot
I got my gun, my rope and my pot'
and I, am gonna die in the garage today...

In the garage baby, in the garage today
In the garage baby, in the garage today

Garage
Garage
Garage
Garage
Garage
yeah.

Insane Confessions of an Amateur Filmmaker

*To the one who convinced me to look before i leap, sorry to tell you but its going to be a long time before i start; but thank you for the knowledge*

    A man sat still in his dirty apartment. This man’s name was Dan. He looked out of the windows and sees the Chinese food sign outside his room and also listens to the neighbors next door have a relaxing and sexually stimulating time. As he ignores her constant moans he gets back to work on his computer. Typing with his usual fingers not home row he types as fast as he can just letting every word create itself in whatever he was writing; it probably didn’t have a story just words. He was thinking of his life, where it had gone and how successful he was; as he thought that he looked at the movie and band poster covered wall, his chalk board and the trunk of locked memories. He just had to finish this script for Mr. Peterson, his current boss.
    Mr. Peters always had him do stuff that other screenplay writers couldn’t and his leadership in filmmaking made Dan look up to him as he started his career. Dan looked back at his trunk, he hadn’t opened it up in sometime, as he got up a woman’s voice came from his be,

“Danny please come back to bed” he ignored her;

“Danny pl..”

“No, in fact can you leave please?” She looked at him shocked

she got up and put her body towards his bare chest;

“What’s wrong? Wasn’t it good for you?”

    Dan didn’t answer he just wanted to disappear and never come back to this whore infested apartment again. He met Cassie at work, she was actually an actress in the movie he was writing for Mr. Peterson and she offered to stay up with him and help write it. One thing lead to another and soon she had him on his back.

“Look” he said “I thought it was great and I do care so much but I really need to finish this, and after that…whatever you want to call it fucking, sex, love making, I really need to get to work” he finished his sentence and turned his eyes back to the type writer which was very old and grey/black. Cassy looking very mad suddenly put on her clothes until she caught Dan looking at the trunk in the corner of the room.

“Danny my love, what’s in there?” she was curious and was about to open it when Dan grabbed her hand and stopped her from opening it.

“my life, my life is there” Cassy saw the look of horror in his eyes, he must not have opened it for quite a while she thought. She put her hands on his chest and started kissing his neck and stoking his messy hair and feeling his 5 o’clock shadow,

“what happened to her?” she asked. Dan thought about it for a long time before suddenly saying

“who, there is no one?”

    Cassy smiled, she couldn’t be mad and she even stopped kissing him and turned his face towards hers, she hugged him, “Daniel we have been dating for the past 3 months, you’ve said ‘I love you’ a couple times but let’s be honest, you don’t even like it when I come over, why you are still dating me is just strange. Danny a woman knows when a man looks at her and sees another woman…who was she?”

    Dan started getting sick, he couldn’t think of her without the sudden feeling of both comfort and discomfort. He thought for a while until he went to the bathroom and shut the door, he got in the shower still with jeans on and sat there, letting the water run down his face, he could hear Cassy opening the trunk and didn’t care. He wondered what she was doing, right now, the other woman, the one that got away.
    He left the bathroom after he heard Cassy leave and he noticed she had put all his past belongings back in the trunk, he quickly got back into his bed and sat enjoying the loud city outside. And he sat, listening to the dulled sirens outside of the motel window. And after 2 shots of whatever he finally laid his head on the backboard of his bead. Pen in one hand and notepad in the other he quickly jotted down ideas on his mind.
    "Where did I go wrong" he thought to himself. Putting the notepad and pen on his bed-side table he gazed at his ceiling. After so many nights, and months of just studying his ceiling he eventually had to tape puzzles and mazes to the drywall to keep him busy. He didn't move he just crossed his arms over his bare chest and breathed slowly.
    Minutes turned into hours. The furnace was broken and on the long December night he felt the cold run down his arms which made his hairs stand up. Today had been his birthday. The second. There were no cards or presents left among his room. But he was used to it. It wasn't for 5 years since he received a birthday card. And he liked it that way.
    After being unable to get sleep he slowly got up from his lumpy bed. Looking at the watch on the wooden table he checked the time. 3 AM. Beside the watch he saw his phone. "Might as well" he said to himself, and he slowly went through his contact list. Aaron, Alex, Bryant, Cody, Dad, Dom...It had been years since he had even talked to the next contact, Mom.
    As he scrolled down the contact he went to the mirror. He made contact with his eyes. Once green now dark gray. So much pain, so much hate had gone into those eyes. So much love. His light beard and untidy hair became his identity. He was only 27 but he didn't look it. One last glance at his phone he had seen a name he hadn't heard for a long time.
    Calmly he looked at his reflection in the dirty mirror. Breathing deeply he returned to his bed and sat there in the dark; only the lights of the Chinese restaurant next door to keep him company. Motionless he yawned. He shut his eyes and began remembering the late night conversations he had with this woman. A girl at that time. How different that her was to him during his childhood. But he can only thank god for those days to make up for the bad ones.

Simple

***I face my inner demons, my greatest friend, my monster, my greatest ally, my monster, my greatest enemy, my monster; for this monster keeps the monster in me***

Just So Simple.

So simple she says, as if I am a wall

Without love it is, and slowly I fall

She doesn’t catch me, at least not as she used to

Just a few strings and a puppeteer will do

With bullets and arrows, she pierced as I called her

Fighting its way, straight through this armor

Lies and lies is all I was made of

Till truth hits her reign, she fears my true love

I tried to fight it, I tried to tell her

Even truth it was but still never stirs

This love I felt for her, this feeling of regret

I am now different to her, something I should have kept

What I must do now, I say as I look at my reflection

In the dirty old mirror, I resist temptation

How must I live now, as she thinks and she grieves

It’s all so simple, even in truth she believes what she believes.

Just so simple.

The Insane Confessions of an Insane Man

By SilentRite

***The following does not reflect the views of the reader but instead the views of the writer, thank you monsters under my bed***

(A man stands at a funeral after being asked to say a few words about his father. The views of death change his speech and instead spill out the state of mind that his confessions produce)

I was asked to speak on behalf of my father’s passing and this evening of the funeral I am in front of many that called me brother, son, kiddo, cousin, friend. The truth of the matter is I didn’t want to be any of those things to you people. It’s no big secret here that I spent my life running; running from you people that took me in. I found there isn’t anything you can’t run from, until I met the person who helps you get away. I met regret and hem my former companions, is no ally, he cannot be out run. I stand here before you in front of this man’s coffin; I stand here in front of the people who knew him best. As you know he was not my real father but another man I hated growing up. I ran to hide my face, I ran to hide what I was ashamed of. I made the role I played in life: the slacker, the rebel, the troubled young man who needed his heart broken as the final catalyst to this flame. I met her, the one I had always known and yet never knew… I met her on the day of my self-woven rope. She changed me. She made me see how much of life there was to spent in this shit hole I call the world. I outran her, and she outran me; I stand here before you looking for this woman, I stand here before you looking for her in each and every one of you. I hope I see her again, I hope to look into the eyes that forever casted me astray from the goals I lead myself to believe where the ones I wanted. I hope to shake hands with the man she wedded, the man who gets to lay naked and produce the offspring that will forever be known as her children. I wish to see my former companion; I demand to see my friend again. So much pain and suffering I seem to cause when I am among her and so much pain and suffering is brought to me; but the truth of the matter is…I will go through every suffering there is to make sure she never does, I will battle with the devil himself to make sure she has her seat in the holy land where He dwells, I will jump into the same abyss I found her to save her from the future that is me. I see now, I see that I cannot be the man I was expected to be, I see now that if I must be this disappointment to you, or her, my former father, or friend. I cannot be what I am expected to be or asked to be because I must now be the man I know I can be. My father was not a great man or a fearless warrior; he was not a devil sent to torment me and make sure my goals were not achieved, he was here to be my father when so many others weren’t. And now I must be the father of my heart and mind to tell you that I must let go, and I must leave you now with this last thought. Did I be the best that I could be, and if not, was I better. Thank You.