By SilentRite
***The following does not reflect the views of
the reader but instead the views of the writer, thank you monsters under my bed***
(A man stands at a funeral after being asked to
say a few words about his father. The views of death change his speech and
instead spill out the state of mind that his confessions produce)
I was asked to speak on behalf of my father’s
passing and this evening of the funeral I am in front of many that called me
brother, son, kiddo, cousin, friend. The truth of the matter is I didn’t want
to be any of those things to you people. It’s no big secret here that I spent
my life running; running from you people that took me in. I found there isn’t anything
you can’t run from, until I met the person who helps you get away. I met regret
and hem my former companions, is no ally, he cannot be out run. I stand here
before you in front of this man’s coffin; I stand here in front of the people
who knew him best. As you know he was not my real father but another man I hated
growing up. I ran to hide my face, I ran to hide what I was ashamed of. I made
the role I played in life: the slacker, the rebel, the troubled young man who
needed his heart broken as the final catalyst to this flame. I met her, the one
I had always known and yet never knew… I met her on the day of my self-woven
rope. She changed me. She made me see how much of life there was to spent in
this shit hole I call the world. I outran her, and she outran me; I stand here
before you looking for this woman, I stand here before you looking for her in
each and every one of you. I hope I see her again, I hope to look into the eyes
that forever casted me astray from the goals I lead myself to believe where the
ones I wanted. I hope to shake hands with the man she wedded, the man who gets
to lay naked and produce the offspring that will forever be known as her
children. I wish to see my former companion; I demand to see my friend again.
So much pain and suffering I seem to cause when I am among her and so much pain
and suffering is brought to me; but the truth of the matter is…I will go
through every suffering there is to make sure she never does, I will battle
with the devil himself to make sure she has her seat in the holy land where He
dwells, I will jump into the same abyss I found her to save her from the future
that is me. I see now, I see that I cannot be the man I was expected to be, I see
now that if I must be this disappointment to you, or her, my former father, or
friend. I cannot be what I am expected to be or asked to be because I must now
be the man I know I can be. My father was not a great man or a fearless
warrior; he was not a devil sent to torment me and make sure my goals were not
achieved, he was here to be my father when so many others weren’t. And now I must
be the father of my heart and mind to tell you that I must let go, and I must
leave you now with this last thought. Did I be the best that I could be, and if
not, was I better. Thank You.
No comments:
Post a Comment