Insane Confessions of an Amateur Filmmaker

*To the one who convinced me to look before i leap, sorry to tell you but its going to be a long time before i start; but thank you for the knowledge*

    A man sat still in his dirty apartment. This man’s name was Dan. He looked out of the windows and sees the Chinese food sign outside his room and also listens to the neighbors next door have a relaxing and sexually stimulating time. As he ignores her constant moans he gets back to work on his computer. Typing with his usual fingers not home row he types as fast as he can just letting every word create itself in whatever he was writing; it probably didn’t have a story just words. He was thinking of his life, where it had gone and how successful he was; as he thought that he looked at the movie and band poster covered wall, his chalk board and the trunk of locked memories. He just had to finish this script for Mr. Peterson, his current boss.
    Mr. Peters always had him do stuff that other screenplay writers couldn’t and his leadership in filmmaking made Dan look up to him as he started his career. Dan looked back at his trunk, he hadn’t opened it up in sometime, as he got up a woman’s voice came from his be,

“Danny please come back to bed” he ignored her;

“Danny pl..”

“No, in fact can you leave please?” She looked at him shocked

she got up and put her body towards his bare chest;

“What’s wrong? Wasn’t it good for you?”

    Dan didn’t answer he just wanted to disappear and never come back to this whore infested apartment again. He met Cassie at work, she was actually an actress in the movie he was writing for Mr. Peterson and she offered to stay up with him and help write it. One thing lead to another and soon she had him on his back.

“Look” he said “I thought it was great and I do care so much but I really need to finish this, and after that…whatever you want to call it fucking, sex, love making, I really need to get to work” he finished his sentence and turned his eyes back to the type writer which was very old and grey/black. Cassy looking very mad suddenly put on her clothes until she caught Dan looking at the trunk in the corner of the room.

“Danny my love, what’s in there?” she was curious and was about to open it when Dan grabbed her hand and stopped her from opening it.

“my life, my life is there” Cassy saw the look of horror in his eyes, he must not have opened it for quite a while she thought. She put her hands on his chest and started kissing his neck and stoking his messy hair and feeling his 5 o’clock shadow,

“what happened to her?” she asked. Dan thought about it for a long time before suddenly saying

“who, there is no one?”

    Cassy smiled, she couldn’t be mad and she even stopped kissing him and turned his face towards hers, she hugged him, “Daniel we have been dating for the past 3 months, you’ve said ‘I love you’ a couple times but let’s be honest, you don’t even like it when I come over, why you are still dating me is just strange. Danny a woman knows when a man looks at her and sees another woman…who was she?”

    Dan started getting sick, he couldn’t think of her without the sudden feeling of both comfort and discomfort. He thought for a while until he went to the bathroom and shut the door, he got in the shower still with jeans on and sat there, letting the water run down his face, he could hear Cassy opening the trunk and didn’t care. He wondered what she was doing, right now, the other woman, the one that got away.
    He left the bathroom after he heard Cassy leave and he noticed she had put all his past belongings back in the trunk, he quickly got back into his bed and sat enjoying the loud city outside. And he sat, listening to the dulled sirens outside of the motel window. And after 2 shots of whatever he finally laid his head on the backboard of his bead. Pen in one hand and notepad in the other he quickly jotted down ideas on his mind.
    "Where did I go wrong" he thought to himself. Putting the notepad and pen on his bed-side table he gazed at his ceiling. After so many nights, and months of just studying his ceiling he eventually had to tape puzzles and mazes to the drywall to keep him busy. He didn't move he just crossed his arms over his bare chest and breathed slowly.
    Minutes turned into hours. The furnace was broken and on the long December night he felt the cold run down his arms which made his hairs stand up. Today had been his birthday. The second. There were no cards or presents left among his room. But he was used to it. It wasn't for 5 years since he received a birthday card. And he liked it that way.
    After being unable to get sleep he slowly got up from his lumpy bed. Looking at the watch on the wooden table he checked the time. 3 AM. Beside the watch he saw his phone. "Might as well" he said to himself, and he slowly went through his contact list. Aaron, Alex, Bryant, Cody, Dad, Dom...It had been years since he had even talked to the next contact, Mom.
    As he scrolled down the contact he went to the mirror. He made contact with his eyes. Once green now dark gray. So much pain, so much hate had gone into those eyes. So much love. His light beard and untidy hair became his identity. He was only 27 but he didn't look it. One last glance at his phone he had seen a name he hadn't heard for a long time.
    Calmly he looked at his reflection in the dirty mirror. Breathing deeply he returned to his bed and sat there in the dark; only the lights of the Chinese restaurant next door to keep him company. Motionless he yawned. He shut his eyes and began remembering the late night conversations he had with this woman. A girl at that time. How different that her was to him during his childhood. But he can only thank god for those days to make up for the bad ones.